5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

About 30 days ago, certainly one of my siblings tagged me in a video clip she recorded of Family Feud, a casino game show where two families compete for the cash reward by looking for the preferred responses to a number of concerns. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a female might choose to be having a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds for the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister did share that is n’t movie on her behalf Facebook web web page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It had been just the opposite: my cousin ended up being aggravated at the round’s subject therefore the answers offered. My sibling composed:

“This actually bothers me personally! For this reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become gorgeous, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”

My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my background in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat person that is masculine, once you understand I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board utilizing the six top answers: “Fatty got cash” (34 out of 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate asian beauties dating site fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nevertheless, calling down fatphobic fables had been demonstrably maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for guys of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Power

The misconception: the truth that this misconception is considered the most popular for the six offered responses — 34 associated with the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether it is in films, politics, or popular culture.

In cases where a classically attractive individual of every sex has been a fat guy, the typical presumption is this fat guy really needs cash or some type of energy. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?

This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for a large amount of fat guys, putting almost all their value as people to the money or energy they could or might not have.

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The facts: While you can find, needless to say, some individuals whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that quite often, individuals will prefer to get having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently placed on skinny or “fit” males, unless of program see your face is well known to own cash or power. However it’s much easier for folks to comprehend two thin or typically appealing individuals being together because they’re interested in one another than each time a thin or usually appealing individual chooses become with a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The misconception: with this particular misconception, we come across exactly exactly how individuals try to simply simply take away fat people’s agency. It shows that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether it’s simply because they just find other fat individuals attractive or that is all they are able to “get”, when you look at the many brutal of terms.

Slipped into this misconception is just a associated fatphobic misconception: that most fat everyone loves to consume plenty of meals, and all individuals who want to eat foodstuffs are fat.

The reality: place clearly, the assumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, skinny, as well as in between — could be and frequently are drawn to a wide number of individuals of most sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t totally fatphobic and sizeist.

And also as when it comes to basic proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another myth too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All fat males, relating to this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s partners would just make use of them to look more desirable in contrast. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably take a relationship with a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat individuals are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The reality: in the same way some individuals might pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, some individuals might just pursue fat guys to look more desirable to others. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this solution will have us think.

I’ll keep repeating the idea, no matter if We appear to be a broken record: people really find fat men appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

It was the sole answer that is truly mocking-free in the most notable responses in the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with the fatphobia that is entrenched display when you look at the remaining portion of the responses. It is available in at 9/100, and therefore away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the solution written by just nine individuals.

What exactly are fat males viewing designed to think of their bodies and their worth as humans?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: this might be one particular “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else regarding the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show participants offered a remedy that finished up maybe maybe maybe not being from the board: that a lady would date a fat guy because he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was the essential crazy response in the whole world, using the other participants as well as the audience laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat men can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is the fact that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only quality that is redeeming tradition enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% of that time — is they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat males are certainly “warm and cuddly,for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.

Further, just exactly what somebody perceives to be “good” or “bad” at intercourse is normally entirely subjective and located in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at sex further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Want To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat to their partners, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have within their present relationship. Put another way, they realize that no one else may wish to be with them.

The reality: To place it bluntly, that is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey response assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.

As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat males are just like likely as just about any guys to cheat on the lovers. And many more crucially, this misconception posits that fat men are incredibly ugly, no body will give them the opportunity to cheat on the partners, which, once more, can be inappropriate to assume.

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The Ongoing Challenge of Fatphobia

As with every fables and stereotypes about a small grouping of individuals, these five study responses on Family Feud show the blatant human body terrorism fat guys are put through inside our tradition.

Despite exactly exactly what these urban myths need you imagine, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to numerous other individuals. This reality should be so hard n’t to assume, however the proven fact that it had been addressed as a result on a tv program illustrates exactly how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.

While you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me personally, it is a reminder that people have actually considerable strive to do in order to attain any type of across-the-board degrees of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these fables and any negative perceptions associated to them obsoleted modes of thought in the place of mainly accepted norms.

Feature image: picture of a person indoors that are sitting. They’ve been putting on a t-shirt that is white baseball limit while they stare to the camera with a small grin on the face. They usually have dark epidermis, a reduced fade cut, and a beard.